tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-59048371524379157112024-03-13T10:54:02.782-04:00Darrell B Nelson's writingDarrell B. Nelsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02851443183217238218noreply@blogger.comBlogger49125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5904837152437915711.post-82032316666203664462012-05-30T15:03:00.004-04:002012-05-30T15:03:38.669-04:00Why can't I quit you!My book MIND THIEF has turned into white whale. When I finished it over a year ago, I knew it had a few problems.<br />
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<a href="http://darrellbnelson.blogspot.com/2011/04/first-full-read-of-my-latest-novel.html">I wrote about them here. </a><br />
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The big problem my main character, Howie, didn't know the full Earth shattering implications of the initial event. Only the bad guys knew about it. I tried every trick in the book to keep the reader interested until Howie found out at the end of the third act. Great writing practice by the way. But I needed to have the readers know the stakes before Howie in a way that didn't make him seem like a total retard for not figuring it out.<br />
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Then I realized its just a matter of Point of View. Howie can't know about what is happening to him, but others do. So here is my new opening page:<br />
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<div style="text-align: center;">
MIND THIEF </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
CHAPTER ONE</div>
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Dr. Hanson sat in the monitoring room deep under Harriman Hall. He forced himself to look over the idiotic ramblings that his students had the nerve to call term papers. A pioneer in neuroscience reduced to grading Psych 101 papers.<br />
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'Only for a few more months. After that I'll have my own private island to retire to.' He reminded himself. He had put it off the entire spring break. Now it's Friday and he had to give them back Monday.<br />
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He looked at the paper in front of him, the wording sounded familiar. He checked the Wikipedia entry. The moron hadn't even bothered to change the wording. <br />
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He grabbed his red pen, got ready to write a huge “F” on the front page, when the alarms went off. Test subject 54's Adrenaline, Dopamine, and Serotonin levels all shot into the red.<br />
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If this were a B-movie he would look up to the overhead camera and raise his arms while screaming, “Noooooo!”<br />
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He shook off that image and did the only thing he could. He picked up the phone. “Harriman, we have a problem.”<br />
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“I'm not paying you to hear about problems, only solutions.” Harriman's voice could make asking for a glass of water sound like a death threat.<br />
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“I'm afraid this problem is as old as mankind. A girl is making --”<br />
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“I'm paying you enough to put you in the top 0.1% of wealth earners. Fixing problems as old as mankind is your job.”<br />
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“You don't understand. In his current state Howie, I mean test subject 54 --”<br />
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“Stop pretending to be the objective scientist, Hanson. Your mess up with Joey proved you don't have the balls for it.”<br />
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“I need you to understand, Harriman. This is a problem that people have tried to stop forever. It can't be solved by killing a few people.”<br />
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“I started this project when your Grandfather was still wearing skirts. Within days the Gods themselves shall bow to my will,” Harriman's voice deepened. “You will fix this problem. If you need access to government resources, I will get them for you. If you need someone killed I will arrange that. You will do whatever it takes to fix this, legal or not. If this experiment is successful no court in the world can convict you. If it is not, no government, no military, nothing in this world can save you. I will hunt you down and you will wish that you could escape to the bowels of hell rather than face my wrath! Do I make myself clear.”<br />
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“Crystal clear. I'll get right on it.” Hanson's hand was trembling as he hung up the phone.<br />
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He looked down at the paper he had been about to grade, checked the name of the student and had a glimmer of hope. “This has to work. I'm putting my life, and the fate of the world, in the hands of the dumbest girl in my class.”<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
* * *</div>
I think this new beginning shows the scale of Howie's little problem.Darrell B. Nelsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02851443183217238218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5904837152437915711.post-91078092684705834872012-05-23T13:22:00.003-04:002012-05-23T13:22:35.686-04:00A TALE OF TWO MARKETSA friend of mine just got back from the DFW Writer's Conference. He talked to an agent who threw out a few facts about self-publishing. I don't doubt the facts (although I have not checked them) they need a little context.<br />
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<u><b>#1 99.3% of all self-published books sell fewer than 100 copies.</b></u><br />
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This number might be true. That reflects how the ebook market works. Self-published books rely on word of mouth. A person stumbles on your book, likes it and tells others. They look for your other books. If they like those they tell others. Most writers on Smashwords have only one book. You have to beg the press and review sites to read it. A couple people like it and might comment on it. Even if a single self-published book gets great reviews it is tough to get critical mass to have enough people talking about it to break 100 copies.<br />
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If you have more than one ebook out the math changes. I had two titles for sale when I release my free ebook, I KILLED THE MAN THAT WASN'T THERE on<a href="https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/46093"> Smashwords</a> and <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Killed-That-Wasnt-There-ebook/dp/B0064RRKME/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1337782470&sr=8-1">Amazon</a> combined roughly 4,000 people downloaded it. That gave me a nice little spike in people checking out my other books. Which gave me a couple of sales.<br />
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The same thing happened when I released <a href="https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/136922">REPOSSESSING SANITY</a> I saw a spike of interest in my other books. No sales, it was pretty different than my other works.<br />
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Oddly, <a href="https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/155369">HOW MUCH HEAD SHOULD A GIRL GIVE IN A DAY</a> made barely a ripple in views of my other books, but visits to <a href="http://projectsaviorreborn.blogspot.com/">PROJECT SAVIOR REBORN</a> jumped by about 50 visits a day.<br />
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I've read you need at least six ebooks out before you start seeing any real money. I believe this. You need a critical mass to start really selling ebooks. With six or more books out there when someone enjoys one of your books they check out more. Most people put up one, sell a couple of copies and give up.<br />
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Also here is a surprise, the ebook market is different than the print market. I'll get into that later.<br />
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<b><u>#2 The big six publishing houses will not be thrilled (understatement) to buy your novel if your self-publishing history shows less than 10,000 copies sold. (This was the agent's perspective. Many others touted self-pub as the only way to go.)</u></b><br />
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I don't doubt this, but this is a case of ego gone amok.<br />
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Let's look at the numbers.<br />
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If your self-published book sold 10,000 copies earning you a little over $2 a piece. That's $20,000.<br />
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If you sell your book to one of the big six you will get between $5,000 and $10,000. $10,000 being the high end of advances for a first novel. That means you get between ¼ and ½ in cash what you could get on your own.<br />
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Looking at it that way it's horrible, but there are other factors. Your book will be reviewed in newspapers, rather than a blog here and there. You will have the “credibility factor” when you ask for a review of your next book. As well as “street cred” with other writers.<br />
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How much is all that worth? It's up to the writer. For a $10,000 advance it's probably worth it, for a $5,000 advance, its a toss up.<br />
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Also while the big six might not be thrilled if you've sold less than 10,000 copies, some agents are. Some agents love authors that have sold 2,000 copies on their own. It's simple math. If you've sold 2,000 and earned $4,000, then $5,000 with all the benefits I listed above is a great deal for the author. They only have to worry about the publishers ego, not the writers. If you can sell 2,000 on your own, with the publisher's power you can easily double that earning back your advance so the publisher won't give the agent a black mark. So it's a safe bet for the agent.<br />
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An enthusiastic agent will make up for the publisher bias against self-publishers.<br />
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<b><u>#3 First time novelists, keep your word count around 60-80k.</u></b><br />
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Here is where the ebook market and the print market differ. It's hard to know if print market figures are based on real numbers or just tradition, but I've heard the best length for a print book is between 65k and 95k. Pages cost money and publisher will want to go on the lower end of that scale. Since a first time writers time is free to them, they can (and frankly should) insist the writer spend an extra month cutting every necessary word to get the 100,000 word novel down to 80,000. It will be tighter and read better.<br />
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Luckily, Matt Corker of Smashwords is a geek. This means he looks at real hard numbers and analyses them. He has found that the magic number for ebooks is around 40,000 words. That makes sense. <br />
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Once I start reading a paper book, it lurks around my favorite reading spot. I've read 20,000 words and it passive aggressively demands I come back for another 20,000 word session. (Damn passive-aggressive books). I try to get away but it looks at me pleading, what about the characters? Are you going to abandon them? So I stick it out for another 20,000 words. Finally I'm ¾ of the way through the book and figure, what the hell? and finish it so I can move on to a new one.<br />
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I've read several mediocre books that way.<br />
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On my computer it's different. I look at my list of new ebooks. I start reading. I stop 20,000 words later (if the book doesn't totally absorb me). Next session I look at my list and think do I want to finish that one or start a new one? The ebook looks at me like, “Up to you, dude. I'm not going to force you to read me.” If it's 40,000 words I'll probably finish it. If it's 80,000 I'll move on.<br />
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Simply put: a good ebook writer can put out twice the amount of books as a print writer. <br />
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<b><u>My take on all of this.</u></b><br />
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The idea of “Traditional publishing vs. Self-Publishing” shouldn't exist. They can be two different markets. <br />
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As ebooks evolve you'll see them becoming very different than print books. They'll be smaller 40,000 words, Written in series, more vulgar (in the old meaning of common) lots of action and sex, and quirky.<br />
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Print books will go the opposite way after trying to get smaller to compete with ebooks they will start being longer (slightly), more romance (as in a focus on characters), stand alone, and highly refined.<br />
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These markets are like TV vs. Movies. A TV show starts with a teaser, to grab your attention. A movie starts with the characters to give you an emotional investment. A movie builds up to the final showdown that forever changes the lives of the characters. A TV show builds up to the final showdown where the heroes win, leaving everything the same.<br />
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TV shows aren't a threat to Movies and Movies aren't threats to TV shows. There is bias among the executives about the other. TV producers aren't guaranteed that their pitches for a movie will be heard and people from the Movie industry aren't guaranteed to get more than a guest slot in a TV show. But the cross-over happens all the time.<br />
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What makes a good ebook and what makes a good print book aren't always the same.Darrell B. Nelsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02851443183217238218noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5904837152437915711.post-53358244274809106152012-04-18T13:18:00.002-04:002012-04-18T13:22:30.639-04:00Roadhouse Rules for Writing<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-maKgtEBMA50/T473qQnwMdI/AAAAAAAABu8/8ag_PfZc4pI/s1600/Swayze.jpg" style="font-style: normal; "><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 296px; height: 314px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-maKgtEBMA50/T473qQnwMdI/AAAAAAAABu8/8ag_PfZc4pI/s320/Swayze.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5732791681077490130" /></a><br />For some reason I felt like watching some 80s movies. There is nothing more 80s than Patrick Swayze. Who else would combine a haircut that is feathered with a mullet?<br /><br />The next day I got to work answering one of the motions against me. It appears the opposing attorney thinks they should win because, A) I'm a dick. B) I rewrote their questions in Discovery so that I could understand them.<br /><br />As far as the first charge, I answered their charges much in the same style as I do in my, <a href="http://projectsaviorreborn.blogspot.com/search/label/Shut-up%20Stupid%20Sunday" style="font-style: normal; ">“Shut-up Stupid Sunday”</a> posts.<br /><br />The second charge reminded me of Swayze's speech in Roadhouse:<br /><br />“If somebody gets in your face and calls you a cocksucker, I want you to be nice. Ask him to walk. Be nice. If he won't walk, walk him. But be nice. If you can't walk him, one of the others will help you, and you'll both be nice. I want you to remember that it's a job. It's nothing personal.”<br /><br />So as I answered the charges of being an editor, and worked through the barely coherent rant against me, I thought lawyers could benefit from a similar speech:<br /><br />“If you are filing a complaint. Be clear. If you are asking a question. Be clear. If you need a affidavit, you'll both be clear. I want you to remember writing a clear presentation is your job. It's nothing personal.”<br /><br />One of the sections he pointed out was this:<br /><br /><i>5.In the event the Defendant feels that the balance set forth in Plaintiff's accounting is incorrect, set forth,in Defendant's opinion, the balance that is determined due and owing to the Plaintiff herein.</i><br /><br />I rewrote this as:<br /><br /><i>What does the Defendant feel the true balance is?</i><br /><br />I first removed the meaningless phrase:<br /><br />“In the event the Defendant feels that the balance set forth in Plaintiff's accounting is incorrect,”<br /><br />If I thought they were correct, I would still be able to state the balance and they could easily show it agreed with theirs.<br /><br />I then removed the contradictory term:<br /><br />“... opinion...due and owing to the Plaintiff herein.”<br /><br />As it was written it was unanswerable as he is asking for my opinion within the document.<br /><br />I removed the redundancy:<br /><br />“ balance that is determined”<br /><br />If you have a balance you have to determine it by adding things up.<br /><br />Removed the “A duh” statement:<br /><br />“ set forth”<br /><br />Gee, you want me to write down my answer. I thought you wanted me to ponder it philosophically.<br /><br />I followed the rule of writing, “Never Use a Large Word When a Diminutive One Will Suffice”<br /><br />I substituted “In the opinion” with “Feel”.<br /><br />I had to do all that in order to have a question that I could answer.<br /><br />Now the attorney is making the case that if he is forced to make a clear presentation of the facts he can't win. In that I couldn't agree with him more.Darrell B. Nelsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02851443183217238218noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5904837152437915711.post-84050972064751452102012-04-11T15:00:00.001-04:002012-04-11T15:03:02.425-04:00Stages of Writing a NovelI've pounded out a few novels now and here are the stages I go through:<br /><br /><div style="font-style: normal; text-align: center; "><b style="font-size: 100%; ">Stage One: Flirtation</b></div><br /><i>Word Count: 1 – 10,000<br /><br />Writing speed: 2,000 words per day</i><br /><br />I've just started the novel, I've got new characters to get to know. The idea is so fantastic everyone will love this book.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><b style="font-size: 100%; ">Stage Two: Love</b></div><br /><i>Word Count 10,000 – 15,000<br /><br />Writing speed: 800 words per day.</i><br /><br />The idea is so fantastic that I have to put careful thought into each word to make sure the concepts come out properly. My characters are perfect with just enough flaws to keep people interested.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><b style="font-size: 100%; ">Stage Three: Waking up.</b></div><br /><i>Word Count 15,000 – 25,000<br /><br />Writing speed: 800 words every other day.</i><br /><br />The idea is alternately so stupid or so complex that I can't believe I thought I could write a novel around it. My characters are jerks no one can like them.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><b style="font-size: 100%; ">Stage Four: Hate (the longest)</b></div><br /><i>Word Count: 25,000 – 35,000<br /><br />Writing speed: You're kidding right?</i><br /><br />How the hell am I going to tie all this stuff together? Why is my heroine yelling at me? Do I really need that side character, can't I kill them now?<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><b style="font-size: 100%; ">Stage Five: When will it end?</b></div><br /><i>Word Count: 35,000 – 50,000<br /><br />Writing speed: 800 to 1,000 words per day</i><br /><br />Just hit the plot points, fix it later. If the characters aren't witty and dynamic 100% of the time you can fix it later.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><b style="font-size: 100%; ">Stage Six: Man, that was easy</b></div><br /><i>Word Count: 50,000 – the end.<br /><br />Writing speed: 1,500 to 2,000 words a day.</i><br /><br />I love how all the plot points come together. I want to sleep with my characters, regardless of gender. The plot was perfect for my skill level. I can't believe writing a novel is so easy.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><b style="font-size: 100%; ">Stage Seven: Postpartum Depression</b></div><br /><i>Word Count: Done<br /><br />Writing Speed: 0</i><br /><br />It's over, but I love my characters. What will I do without them in my life? I loved every second of writing that book. Okay, not every second. Okay, not even most of the time, but when I did love it it was worth it.<br /><br />Those are the Seven Stages I go through in writing a novel. How about you? What do you feel when writing.Darrell B. Nelsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02851443183217238218noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5904837152437915711.post-79960477413566733682012-03-28T12:25:00.002-04:002012-03-28T12:28:52.074-04:00Perceptions of Others<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-hKDn42o4Rw4/T3M7z8nRsMI/AAAAAAAABuA/YywDWg9o5BQ/s1600/if-i-could-give-316x316.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 316px; height: 316px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-hKDn42o4Rw4/T3M7z8nRsMI/AAAAAAAABuA/YywDWg9o5BQ/s320/if-i-could-give-316x316.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5724985314948264130" /></a><br /><i>In an upscale park several people were out walking their dogs. A homeless man walked by with his dog clinging by his side. The dog owners stopped and looked at him thinking, “Poor dog, the guy can't even take care of himself much less a pet.”<br /><br />The dogs all looked at the homeless guy's dog and thought, “Lucky bastard, I get a twenty minute walk on a good day. That guy has been on a walk for like six months straight. Plus I get yelled at if I get in the trash, his owner joins him.”<br /><br />Some of the dogs moved away from their humans in embarrassment. Some looked them in the eye to let them know, “You may not be perfect, but I know you're trying.” Some imagined how someday they might have an owner like that.</i><br /><br />I really don't mean to, but for some reason I tend to have characters with mental disorders. This might be a reflection of my life as crazy people have always flocked to me. It might be because I look at people a little different than most. Eleven of my last thirteen employers have gone to jail, that does show something about my ability to judge people.<br /><br />One constant feedback that I got on my novel, MIND THIEF, is wondering why the heroine, who suffers from bipolar schizophrenia and aspergers syndrome, likes my main character. What could a great girl like that see in an honor student in a private college who dreams of setting up multi-trillion dollar industries in space.<br /><br />The problem was I looked at the heroine through the eyes of my main character. Just like the dogs in the park looked at the homeless guy's dog in the most positive light, I did the same with my heroine.<br /><br />I did this for a few reasons, only one of which is excusable from a story telling point of view.<br /><br />First, without her my main character couldn't save the world. So I needed to show all her positive aspects.<br /><br />Second, Even though she is “bark at the moon” insane, I didn't want her to be a stereotype crazy person.<br /><br />Third and most unforgivable, I really liked her.<br /><br />It is like writing a story about the homeless guy's dog from the POV of the dogs in the park. You wouldn't know why the bastard humans are trying to “save” him, or how growing up seeing all every human looking down on him with pity and contempt might fill his little heart with self-doubt.<br /><br />So now I'm going through and trying to get the narration show her like the dog owners in the park see the homeless guy's dog, while my main character looks at her like the dog's in the park view the same dog. That way the reader can see why she might get defensive as the main character is viewing her as perfect, while everyone else she has ever known looks at her as a social pariah.<br /><br />If I have the talent to show both views of her (All in third person limited) it will make the book even more powerful.<br /><br />I'm trying to think of any other book that shows both sides of a socially unacceptable person or group, but I can't. Even in ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKCOO'S NEST you started agreeing with the residents and forgetting that they were in there for a reason.<br /><br />So, what do you think about showing both views of a character? From friends who only see the positive aspects of them and strangers who only see the negative stereotypes?Darrell B. Nelsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02851443183217238218noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5904837152437915711.post-41303439090561925232012-03-14T13:36:00.000-04:002012-03-14T13:38:57.762-04:00ArgumentsI've been told I have a gift for dialog in my writing. I prefer to think of it as sticking to a few simple rules.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center; "><span style="font-size: 100%; "><b>Stick to the point.</b></span></div>Real conversations tend to ramble around, are filled with incomplete sentences and often times incomplete thoughts. This makes up most of the our conversations with people. When we think about what was said later, our mind clears all that up and an hour long conversation turns into three paragraphs.<br /><br />So I write dialog the same way my mind remembers them, highly condensed so the main points stick out.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 100%; "><b>Witty</b></span></div>Just like having the main points stick out, we tend to remember the funny things people say more than everything else. In real life even the funniest person you know doesn't have you laughing like you where at a comedy club. They might at best give one funny line for every twenty lines they say. But what do you remember about the conversation? That 5% of what they say.<br /><br />So my characters tend to have a several one liners and funny saying sprinkled throughout their conversations.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 100%; "><b>Character Revealing</b></span></div>In real life we tend to be chameleons in our dialog, we blend our speech patterns to fit the people we are talking to. I used to call people all around the country. An hour of calling the upper mid-west and you would think I never left Wisconsin. Calling the south you'd think I was born and raised here in Kentucky. The North East people knew I was from New York, even 10 years after I left.<br /><br />When writing dialog my characters don't unintentionally blend. They don't try to mimic the speech of the other people. That makes for good if unrealistic character reveals.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 100%; "><b>When these Rules Breakdown</b></span></div><br />Like most simple rules for complex problems when they break down, they really breakdown.<br /><br />I tried to apply these rules to an argument that my MC had with his girlfriend.<br /><br />The situation was they had started to have phone sex earlier, after being interrupted she tells him she'll try and call later. He leaves his phone in his room as he rushes out the door to go study. She calls him for an hour getting more and more frustrated. When she finally reaches him she unleashes all her anger on him. (He already knows she has trouble controlling her emotions.)<br /><br />I followed my simple rules.<br /><br /><b>Sticking to the point:</b> She yells at him, he tells her to calm down. She doesn't. So he tells he to call back when she can be calm. Neither character is supposed to be being really mean, it's just a major breakdown in communication.<br /><br />When reduced to under 400 words it makes both of them sound like jerks. Guys read it and couldn't understand why my main character would take her back. Girls read it and couldn't see why heroine would want a guy who won't even attempt to listen to them.<br /><br />Reading it after getting that feedback I saw their points.<br /><br /><b>Witty:</b> In calm situations a character being witty is funny, in an argument it's being demeaning. Both my characters make witty statements constantly throughout the book. So in the argument they do it as well. Instead of relieving tension, it reads like each thinks the others feelings are a joke. Not good.<br /><br /><b>Character Revealing:</b> The reason we try to blend our speech to people around us is not fool them into thinking we are something we're not. We blend our speech to put other people at ease. They don't have to translate what we are saying. This goes tenfold for an argument. In real life when people get mad they loose this blending ability. It puts up a wall letting the other person know, I care more about my anger right now than what you are saying. In real life if I hear someone's accent breakdown I know the argument is over, they won't hear anything else I say. If its someone I care about I'll ask them if they can take a breath and then say what they have to say. If it is someone I'm negotiating with I'll state my most reasonable terms knowing they will reject them. Then when negotiations resume they'll feel like a jerk.<br /><br />Having the characters not try and blend with each other in an argument means they are being real jerks to each other and care more about being mad than the other person's feelings.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 100%; "><b>Rules for writing the Dialog in Arguments</b></span></div><br />I don't have any right now, I'll play around with my argument for a while until I can get some. Any ideas would be really appreciated.Darrell B. Nelsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02851443183217238218noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5904837152437915711.post-27084329160551644282012-03-08T13:08:00.001-05:002012-03-08T13:08:41.369-05:00My Best Beta<p align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0in">I haven't been blogging this week because something unexpected happened. My wife liked my book.</p> <p align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0in"><br /></p> <p align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0in">That might sound strange, but I am blessed/cursed with the greatest beta reader that a writer could ask for. My wife.</p> <p align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0in"><br /></p> <p align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0in">In the twenty-three years we have been married my wife has read one book in a single sitting. She reads maybe two to three books from cover to cover a year. It's not that she doesn't read a lot, she does, it's just that a book really needs to grab her for her to continue reading passed the first three chapters. She has probably read the first three chapters of over a million books.</p> <p align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0in"><br /></p> <p align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0in">So when she asked to read, MIND THIEF, I didn't even worry about the fact that I had only done a full line edit on the first 10 Chapters, a copy edit on the next 10 and still had missing scenes in the last 5 chapters. I sent her the first 10 Chapters figuring it would take her a week to read them (like she does with most published books). In that week I could line edit the next ten and finish up the remaining scenes. I started line editing for the next two hours and she came into my office and asked for the rest of the book.</p> <p align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0in"><br /></p> <p align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0in">I was floored and sent her the next 10 chapters. Two hours later she wanted to finish the book. So on Sunday I spent the day quickly finishing up the last few scenes that were unfinished. I got it done on Monday, and an hour later she finished reading it.</p> <p align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0in"><br /></p> <p align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0in">If I had finished it up sooner my book would have been the second book in twenty-three years that she would have read in one sitting.</p> <p align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0in"><br /></p> <p align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0in">That is why I say I am both blessed and cursed with her as a beta reader. Most people have betas that read like me, if I can see what the writer is trying to say I keep reading. I've read books that were absolute trash, but clearly written trash. In some ways that helps me critique people's books as I will look for minor things to improve on, but just because I read a book doesn't mean its any good.</p> <p align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0in"><br /></p> <p align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0in">With my wife, if she actually reads the book there has to be something there to get her passed the first three chapters. She might give me the benefit of the doubt and push through to chapter 4 or 5 but that is it.</p> <p align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0in"><br /></p> <p align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0in">So I've been going through my book making changes with problems spotted by someone who will only fully read one out of a hundred books she picks up, and has only read one in a million books in one sitting.</p> <p align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0in"><br /></p> <p align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0in">It makes the other 5 times of getting, “I just couldn't get into it.” Worth it.</p>Darrell B. Nelsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02851443183217238218noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5904837152437915711.post-59493794172438509792012-02-22T14:27:00.002-05:002012-02-22T14:31:22.260-05:00I love my Crit'ersSometimes it takes a lot of eyeballs to see the obvious.<br />I'm working on my final revisions on my novel, MIND THIEF. I had a slight problem, I didn't know what genre it fell into.<br />Last week two people pointed out the genres to me.<br />Commenting on my query Shakespeare said:<br /><br /><i>I haven't read the book, but is the tone of the book similar to the tone of the query? It should read like it, so that the agent/publisher can get a sense of the tone, too. The query spends a lot of time setting up these two characters... but then it says "The only way he can survive..." and I don't understand what he is surviving. Is it just these latent memories? Or are they a sign of something bigger and more dangerous going on? I'm not sure what the main conflict is, the main arc of what the book is dealing with. I get the characters pretty strongly, though.</i><br /><br />Also I have people critiquing it at <a href="http://www.scribophile.com">Scribophile</a> and a critiquer pointed out:<br /><br /><i>The plot therefore has two paths. One is a romance and the other may be suspense or a thriller. The conflict seemed reserved for the latter. There is a different style in each which seems appropriate.</i><br /><br />So now it's obvious, my book has two genres. I just have to make sure it fits the genres, so I just need to look at the tone of the two.<br />With romance the main focus is on the characters, about 80% with the remaining 20% focusing on the action that takes place around them.<br />With a thriller the main focus is on the action, about 80% with the remaining 20% focusing on the characters.<br />All I need to do is combine these two tones and have it be 100% about the characters, and 100% be about the action. Simple.<br />Or I could look outside of writing at another artform: dance.<br />Two legends of dancing were Fred Astaire and Ginger Rodgers.<br />Ginger Rodgers had it easy, all she had to do was everything Fred Astaire did, only backwards and in high heels.<br />So all I have to do is look at my book backwards and in high heels. Unfortunately I can't find any high heels that fit me and none of my wife's evening gowns fit. So I'll have to try it in a tight pink mini skirt, fishnet stockings, a see through blouse, and peek-a-boo bra.<br />Here is my new query backwards:<div><br />Howie has a problem: Someone is stealing his mind, and the only one who can help him is a girl who has already lost hers.<br />You're not paranoid if everyone is out to get you. A hundred years of memories flood Howie's mind. Evil memories of starting five major wars and killing everyone who has ever wanted humanity to progress. At the same time his friends and his professor are telling him, and sometimes threatening him, to stay away from Vivian, the girl he met at his psychologist office.<br />Either Howie is going crazy, or there is a single man that has caused the most horrific events over the last century, and all his friends and professors work for him. In order to survive, Howie must do what Archduke Ferdinand, FDR, Stalin, JFK, and Saddam Hussein all failed to do. He must stop the man who has caused the deaths of hundred of millions, and do it armed only with his love of Vivian.<br />MIND THIEF is my completed 95,000 word thriller.<br /><br />Now I just have to merge the two queries, the one for a Romance novel and the one for a thriller and I'll have one that matches the tone of the book. No Problem.<br /><br />Thanks again to all the people who have critiqued this to help me sort out the right tone and feel for the book.</div>Darrell B. Nelsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02851443183217238218noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5904837152437915711.post-58711343805698703412012-02-15T17:12:00.002-05:002012-02-15T17:13:30.009-05:00Query TimeFor me nothing is worse than writing the query for a novel. Looking at my book and carefully picking out the most important parts. Distilling it down so that the main idea comes forth in a few simple sentences. Pulling back all the layers and letting only the simplest idea of the book show through.<br /><br />Then send it out and have agents tell me: “This feels a little small for a novel.”<br /><br />But I'm at it again, and here is my first draft of a query for MIND THIEF:<br /><br /><i><span >Howie has a problem, someone is stealing his mind and the only one who can help him is a girl who has already lost hers.<br /><br />After meeting Vivian in the lobby of his psychologist's office, Howie starts experiencing the memories of a man of wealth and taste. First hand memories of some of the evilest acts committed over the past century. He starts investigating and finds historical facts line up with his memories, facts he couldn't know before.<br /><br />To make things worse, it seems like all his friends are lying to him. He turns to the only one he can trust, Vivian a girl who is clearly a genius and just as clearly pants-crapping insane. With her help he concludes he is either more insane than she is, or the man who controlled the world for the last century has been messing with his life since before he was born.<br /><br />The only way he can survive is if his love for Vivian is stronger than the evil that has ruled the Earth for the past century.<br /><br />Mind Thief is my completed 95,000 word (Genre) novel.</span></i><br /><br />Obviously I need a genre and I'm working on narrowing that part down. Other than that, I know query writing is my weakest skill. Any help would be appreciated.Darrell B. Nelsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02851443183217238218noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5904837152437915711.post-48593916604846641362012-02-08T12:47:00.002-05:002012-02-08T12:53:05.818-05:00Arrgh! The worst part of editing.I don't know why, but the better the dialog the more the writer tries to hide it.<br /><br />I nothing kills a great scene with snappy dialog more than extra words. Part of the problem is writing "he said/she said", is a lot more annoying than reading it. I personally like having the characters do little actions while talking, but it is very easy to go overboard and have the actions take away from the dialog.<br /><br />I've noticed that rough drafts might go something like this.<br /><br />“What do think?” He proudly showed off his outfit. The work of art that he spent hours on.<br /><br />She looked it over with a critical eye and said, “Using a live Flamingo for a hat might be too much.” She pointed at Fred the Flamingo who was perched on his head.<br /><br />The dialog is fine on its own.<br /><br />“What do think?” he asked.<br /><br />“Using a live Flamingo for a hat might be too much,” she said.<br /><br />When the whole page or two of dialog is good those extra words really get in the way. The intent might be to have the reader laugh, laugh some more, stop because the laughing starts to hurt, keep reading because they are a glutton for punishment. Instead it turns into laugh, pause, laugh, pause. On to the next scene being mildly amused.<br /><br />It is really painful to cut this extra stuff, but it helps the dialog. The only comfort is it is nearly as painful to cut it from other people's work as it is my own.<br /><br />An other problem writers have, is posting parts of their rough drafts on their blogs to use as examples. Below is an example of both these problems, if you are someone who hates it when writers do this I'll see you at the bottom (it will be clearly marked).<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><b>SELF-INDULGENT ROUGH DRAFT POSTING:</b></div><br />When his phone went off it felt like a flaming sword was rammed through his brain. He looked at the display that was much too bright and didn't recognize the number. He thought about just turning the phone off but he worried it might be important.<br /><br />“Hello?” he said.<br /><br />“Hey how's my fuck-buddy?” Vivian's voice made Howie's head pound but made him smile at the same time.<br /><br />“Not too great right now I've got a massive headache,” Howie said. “Are you calling from the laundry mat again?”<br /><br />“No I'm at work,” Vivian said. “Some customer dropped their cell phone and I figured since he wasn't using it I'd give you a call.”<br /><br />“That will teach him to hold on to it better.” Howie smiled even though it sent shooting pains through his head.<br /><br />“I try to help people when I can,” Vivian said. “Hold on I've got another call.”<br /><br />Howie smiled at the thought of Vivian taking other people's calls without thinking anything was wrong with that.<br /><br />“Okay I'm back,” Vivian said. “It was just the guy who owns the phone's wife wondering why he was late. I told her he was in the shower.”<br /><br />“You told her that?” Howie asked.<br /><br />“I figured it would give them something to talk about when he got home.” Vivian laughed.<br /><br />“I'm sure it will,” Howie said.<br /><br />“Damn for some reason she's calling back, should I tell her it will take him longer to get home if I check on him by joining him in the shower?” Vivian asked.<br /><br />“You might just want to ignore her,” Howie said.<br /><br />“I suppose your right.” Vivian sighed. “I wish I was in your room so I could help you with your headache.”<br /><br />“What would you do?” Howie asked.<br /><br />“I'd have you rest your head against my boobies until it went away,” she said.<br /><br />“That might be the only thing that would help with this headache.” Howie said, the idea of snuggling up to Vivian did make the headache a little more tolerable.<br /><br />“I'd do that and I'd slowly stroke... damn she's calling back again,” Vivian said. “I should tell her off for interrupting us.”<br /><br />“I don't think that would be a good idea,” Howie said.<br /><br />“I've got a way to make her stop calling,” Vivian said. “Hold on.”<br /><br />Howie wondered what Vivian could be doing.<br /><br />“There that should keep her from calling,” Vivian said.<br /><br />“What did you do?” Howie asked.<br /><br />“I told her that her husband was busy in the shower with my husband 'Steve' and I couldn't check on them because I don't like watching them have anal sex.” Vivian laughed. “I told her I'd tell him she called when they moved on to blowing each other, but his mouth might be full then.”<br /><br />“That should put her mind at ease.” Howie laughed and then got serious. “I'd love to keep chatting with you but my headache is getting worse.”<br /><br />“That's okay I've got a line customers wanting to check out,” Vivian said. “But I'll be thinking about you tonight when I get naked in my bed.”<br /><br />“I wish I could say the same,” Howie said. “But I'll probably just be suffering through this headache.”<br /><br />“Okay. I can't wait to see you again,” Vivian said.<br /><br />“I'm looking forward to seeing the greatest fuck buddy a guy could ever have, again,” Howie said.<br /><br />“I thought you'd like to see me.” Vivian said in a tone that Howie couldn't tell if she was joking.<br /><br />“I was talking about you.” Howie grinned, “Even with this massive headache the thought of seeing you makes me feel better.”<br /><br />“I'm glad I could help. Sorry I've got to go.” She hung up the phone.<br /><br /><i>Here is the same Scene with all the extra words cut out:</i><br /><br />When his phone went off, it felt like a flaming sword rammed through his brain. He looked at the display that was much too bright. He didn't recognize the number. He thought about just turning the phone off but worried it might be important.<br /><br />“Hello?”<br /><br />“Hey, how's my fuck-buddy?” Vivian's voice made him smile despite the pain.<br /><br />“Not too great right now I've got a massive headache,” he said. “Are you calling from the laundromat again?”<br /><br />“No I'm at work,” she said. “Some customer dropped their cell phone and I figured since he wasn't using it I'd give you a call.”<br /><br />“That will teach him to hold on to it better.”<br /><br />“I try to help people when I can,” she said. “Hold on I've got another call.”<br /><br />Howie smiled at Vivian taking other people's calls without thinking anything was wrong with that.<br /><br />“Okay I'm back,” she said. “It was just the guy who owns the phone's wife wondering why he was late. I told her he was in the shower.”<br /><br />“You told her that?”<br /><br />“I figured it would give them something to talk about when he got home,” she said.<br /><br />“I'm sure it will,” he said.<br /><br />“Damn for some reason she's calling back, should I tell her it will take him longer to get home if I check on him by joining him in the shower?” Vivian asked.<br /><br />“You might want to ignore her.”<br /><br />“I suppose your right.” She sighed. “I wish I was in your room so I could help you with your headache.”<br /><br />“What would you do?”<br /><br />“I'd have you rest your head against my boobies until it went away,” she said.<br /><br />“That might be the only thing that would help with this headache.”<br /><br />“I'd do that and I'd slowly stroke... damn she's calling back again,” she said. “I should tell her off for interrupting us.”<br /><br />“I don't think that would be a good idea,” he said.<br /><br />“I've got a way to make her stop calling, hold on.”<br /><br />“Okay.”<br /><br />“There. That should keep her from calling,” Vivian said.<br /><br />“What did you do?”<br /><br />“I told her that her husband was busy in the shower with my husband 'Steve' and I couldn't check on them because I don't like watching anal sex. I told her I'd tell him she called when they moved on to blowing each other, but his mouth might be full then.”<br /><br />“That should put her mind at ease.” Howie laughed and then got serious. “I'd love to keep chatting, but my headache is getting worse.”<br /><br />“That's okay I've got a line of customers wanting to check out,” she said. “But I'll be thinking about you tonight when I get naked in my bed.”<br /><br />“I wish I could say the same. But I'll probably just be suffering through this headache.”<br /><br />“Okay. I can't wait to see you again,” Vivian said.<br /><br />“I'm looking forward to seeing the greatest fuck buddy a guy could ever have,” Howie said.<br /><br />“I thought you'd like to see me?”<br /><br />“I was talking about you.” He grinned. “Even with this massive headache the thought of seeing you makes me feel better.”<br /><br />“Glad I could help. Sorry got to go.”<br /><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><b>END OF SELF-INDULGENT ROUGH DRAFT POSTING.</b></div><br />Cutting all the little extra actions and thoughts from the scene makes it flow better and let's the dialog stand on its own. If the dialog is good enough to stand on its own then let it. If it isn't, should it really be in the book?<br /><br />Getting rid of all that extra baggage is worth it, but it is really painful.Darrell B. Nelsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02851443183217238218noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5904837152437915711.post-51829284941753412692012-02-02T11:23:00.000-05:002012-02-02T11:24:50.070-05:00Artistic RespectSome writers have talked about how an indie producer tends to get more respect for spending all their free time and money on making films than a writer. I'm not sure if that's true. But even if it is, it has a lot to do with the skills involved.<br /><br />With a producer there are a lot of small technical skills that have to be honed. Even someone putting up a quick video for Youtube has to deal with camera and lighting angles, sound, focusing, ect. Lots of little skills that each take time to master.<br /><br />Writing is more like acting. Anyone can do it.<br /><br />Anyone can read off a cue card and look at a camera. It's learning the craft that's the hard part.<br /><br />In 1974 Gary Sinise and two friends started the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steppenwolf_Theatre_Company">Steppenwolf Theater Company</a>. They started it in the basement of a church that let them rent it for pennies. Often no one would show up. Sometimes they'd earn gas money from their plays.<br /><br />But in those six years in the basement of the church they learned their craft. When you watch Sinise you can see how that paid off, he can play different characters with different motivations and still be Gary Sinise.<br /><br />In a similar vein, a director once said of Tommy Lee Jones you can ask him to play the same role a dozen different ways and they will all be brilliant and all be Tommy Lee Jones.<br /><br />That honing of the craft is what makes the difference between actors like Sinise and Jones and someone reading cue cards into a camera.<br /><br />That gets me on to another thing I've heard writers saying, “But that's my style.”<br /><br />Um, no. Here is how you can identify “your style”, try not to write in your style.<br /><br />I recently wrote what I thought was a Sci-Fi thriller, that was actually a Paranormal Romance. I get those confused all the time. So I thought I'd try something different and write a very straight forward sci-fi tale.<br /><br />The main character's love interest was supposed to be a minor sub-plot. The strange compelling voices he heard were only supposed foreshadow the enemy so the final showdown would be more intense. But the interplay between the character and his love interest became interesting, and the voices and obsession with them became a focus. Next thing I know I'm writing a classic sci-fi story with a Paranormal Romantic twist.<br /><br />It's about as different as I can make it from my last book, but it is the same style. Just like when Gary Sinise or Tommy Lee Jones play a bad guy, they are convincing as that, but still have that unmistakable style.<br /><br />That's the difference between the art of producing and writing or acting. In producing there are a lot of little technical skills that are like any other job that must be learned before you can add your style. With writing (and acting) its a matter of getting your style and voice down so that no matter how different you make your work it still has that quality where people will say, that's you.Darrell B. Nelsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02851443183217238218noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5904837152437915711.post-43789190902594632012-01-11T13:56:00.000-05:002012-01-11T13:57:05.401-05:00Look where you are going.I started watching a TV show, CANADA'S WORST DRIVER.<br /><br />The show takes people from all over Canada who are bad drivers and lucky haven't killed someone yet, and teaches them how to drive.<br /><br />The biggest lesson they teach is to look where you are going. This may sound simple but it is a hard skill to master. When you are barreling towards a post your instincts are to stare straight at it. When you do that the car will follow and you will smash into it. If you see your escape route and look at that, you will automatically steer the car in that direction. When you have to drive through a narrow space if you look at the space instead of the objects on either side you'll pass through them easily. If you look at the objects you'll smash into them.<br /><br />The other lesson they teach is to look far enough forward to have time to react. Humans are biologically made to look 35 feet in front of them. This works great if you are running that give you all the time in the world to react. When you are driving at 55 mph, or even 30 mph, this gives you a split second to react and the littlest things will make you panic and you'll drive faster causing a feedback loop.<br /><br />How do these two things relate to writing?<br /><br />In two ways, there are times when your character “takes over” and as the writer you are just recording what they are doing. Different writers have different names for why this happens. GMCs Goals, Motivations and Conflicts, Character “voice”, well defined character. It is just the fact that your character is looking where they are going.<br /><br />It also works as a writer, if you are writing a scene where your character is about to hit an obstacle, the natural tendency is to write about the obstacle. This makes the reader feel like the character is a deer stuck in headlights. Instead of focusing on the obstacle have your character focus on how they are getting around it. That is how confident people work and it makes for a confident character.<br /><br />The other way these driving lessons relate to writing is looking forward far enough to react.<br /><br />In grade school we are taught to focus on sentences and paragraphs. I remember having to write a paper on Wall St in fourth grade. Naturally I had to get there. I started writing the first act and the teacher came over and looked at the two paragraphs I had written and said I wasn't doing the assignment. I explained how I needed to get to Wall St in order to write about it. She asked why I didn't do that yet. My response was, “In the first Paragraph?” It was almost like fourth grade English teachers don't look at the classical structure and dramatic pacing of a 400 word essay and are more concerned that the students get the basic mechanics of writing down.<br /><br />Unfortunately it is too easy to fall into the trap of looking immediately in front of you while writing. Using the three act structure it is easy to train yourself to look far enough forward. In the three act structure in the first act the characters are introduced and the conflict presented.<br /><br />Start out looking were the main character wants to go. Show the obstacle, and have the character look for ways around it. Then have the conflict arise. The main character sees the conflict and looks to the escape route not at the conflict. Always looking to get to where they want to be at the end of the first act.<br /><br />In the second act, the conflict is unavoidable and the main character is knocked away from where they are going. As you write look to where your character is going to end up.<br /><br />In the third act the main character has to defeat the obstacle and start on the a new path. So the writer should look at the ending.<br /><br />By looking forward at where you want your character to be you don't have to worry if you jot down an awful phrase or start machine-gunning commas into your writing. These things can be easily fixed but if your main character starts wandering around aimlessly for 10,000 words it is really hard to get them back on course.<br /><br />If both you as the writer and your main character are looking at where you want to go and not looking at the obstacle the writing will flow smoother and the character, plot and pacing will come out better.Darrell B. Nelsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02851443183217238218noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5904837152437915711.post-57831601791483413762012-01-04T13:11:00.001-05:002012-01-04T13:11:56.923-05:00Lessons Learned in 2011One of my goals for 2011 was to stay fit. My plan was to exercise everyday. I pretty much nailed that, I only missed 4 days. Twice I was so sick I couldn't do anything. Once was two days after I broke my finger (The day after I broke my finger I did exercise until I started bleeding so much I worried about getting blood stains on my clothes and thought about how the police tend to stop people who are running around covered in blood). By the third day my bleeding had slowed enough to do mild exercise. I whined about to my wife but she laughed and said, “Now you know what it is like to bleed for four days without dieing.”<br /><br />One day I just was hit with seasonal depression as it had rained for what seemed like months and I didn't feel like doing anything.<br /><br />I can't say that all my exercise sessions were athletic training, some days it was all I could do to spend 15 minutes of light weight training or go for a 20 minute mile long walk. But I did get some exercise in. A few times over the year I did start feeling like when I was an athlete, when I was doing 20 minutes of weight training followed by a 2 mile jog. But I couldn't keep that up.<br /><br />So what is the lesson?<br /><br />Persistence. By exercising every day, even if it was only for 15 minutes, I stayed in shape so when I felt inspired I could push myself that literal extra mile.<br /><br />This year I'm going to apply that to my writing and write something new for at least half an hour every day. Like my exercise routine it won't do great every day. Yesterday I wrote 400 words of absolute crap that I'm just going to trash. It was a pain to write it as well. However I know just like with exercise those bad days do pay off.<br /><br />By struggling to write 400 words of crap that I won't use, I know that next time I am inspired and the words just flow onto the page, I will be so used to writing that I won't feel like stopping at 1,000 words.<br /><br />So my goal for this year is to keep exercising like I've been doing and write at least half an hour every day. Now I have to go and write... I'll be busy for the next half an hour.Darrell B. Nelsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02851443183217238218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5904837152437915711.post-47015673555256829122011-12-07T14:20:00.001-05:002011-12-07T14:20:51.640-05:00Writing Wednesday: Shakespearean VillainsThe play is the thing. In his plays Shakespeare had his villains and heroes give long soliloquies about their motivations and feelings. I've always loved how those speeches brought the characters to life. I loved how Star Trek TOS was greatly influenced by the Bard and TNG took it up a level. My writing is definitely influenced by Shakespeare. Unfortunately I'm not writing plays, I'm writing novels.<br /><br />A critiquer told me, “You know that spot where your villain goes on an eight paragraph diatribe for over an entire page? You might want to trim that a bit.”<br /><br />Looking it over I can see how it just might task the reader a bit.<br /><br />This is one of those problems where reading it outloud makes the problem worse. When I read it aloud I summon my best Malcolm McDowell voice, add all the dramatic tones I would if I were on stage. It sounds great.<br /><br />Of course not every reader can cast Malcolm McDowell to do the reading. Some are stuck with Hayden Christensen delivering the lines with all the drama he put into, “What about the other Jedi.”<br /><br />So I summoned my best Hayden Christensen voice and tried it again. I fell asleep in the second paragraph.<br /><br />I compromised and had my Mac read it to me. Obviously my Mac doesn't have the dramatic flair that McDowell has, but does deliver lines with more emotion than Hayden Christensen did in Star Wars.<br /><br />I can see where it could be trimmed a little, like at least half.<br /><br />So now I have a problem, I have a larger than life villain, with an ego to match. Such a man would naturally be fairly verbose when he outlines his goals to his latest victim. But when his speech is written out it is a bit much for the reader.<br /><br />I'm wondering what are some of the great villains in literature that managed to strike the balance between being verbose without making the reader feel like they are listening to a John Kerry speech?<br /><br />#<br /><br />Disclaimer: Hayden Christensen actually can act, he just didn't in the Star Wars movies.Darrell B. Nelsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02851443183217238218noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5904837152437915711.post-12833497343846140772011-11-30T13:40:00.001-05:002011-11-30T13:40:55.188-05:00Writing Wednesday: SpecificityIn writing one decision that the writer has to make is how specific to be on something. There are people who hate specificity with the heat of a mainstream star of O9 classification. (The heat of a million suns.)<br /><br />This topic came up when someone looked over my book where a plot point had the Nazis trying to crack the human genome with the latest Hollerith Tabulating machines. I took the speed of the machine and the number of calculations it would have to do and came up with the time, 3 trillion years. Instead of saying 3 trillion years it was suggested that I just mention it would take longer than my character wanted.<br /><br />Naturally after doing the calculations to find out how long it would take I wanted to leave the result in there. But I also looked at it from the reader's side. Anything over 50 years was too long, so the exact number didn't matter to the plot. However, when I read science fiction I like it when there is a grounding in real math.<br /><br />I ended up compromising and having the Nazi tell my character that it would take a long time, and my character responded, “According to my people longer than the life of the sun.” Most people can't really grasp the difference between 5 billion years and 3 trillion years. It is still an awful long time.<br /><br />I'm wondering how do you feel about specificity in fiction?Darrell B. Nelsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02851443183217238218noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5904837152437915711.post-60448360349139254842011-11-02T12:09:00.000-04:002011-11-02T12:10:29.645-04:00The dreaded Sixth bookI've heard a few writers talking about “problem” books. The big problem book is the second one. Most writers never finish their second novel. I didn't. Mine was about a half-vampire who didn't know his wife was a werewolf. I took everything I learned from writing my first novel and made a horrible mess of 15,000 words (the entire first and second act).<br /><br />The next problem book is the sixth. After writing five novels the sixth one should be easy, right? Nope. It's just as hard as the others. Harder in fact, as now you should know what you are doing and there should be a higher good to crap ratio. But there isn't.<br /><br />You also think about all problems in your other books. One of the problems with my books is depth. In all my books a change in one chapter means going back and changing five other chapters. It's a pain when it comes to editing. It's a style I like and want to keep, but I run the risk of each novel becoming more and more complex.<br /><br />Even AN EXTRA TOPPING OF HORROR which is a light comedy had this problem.<br /><br />So for my sixth novel I turned back to my martial arts training.<br /><br />A big problem in martial arts is as you learn more and more complex sets of skills that build on each other, you hit a wall and try as you might you just can't learn the next set. The problem isn't that the next set of skills is any harder to learn, but any flaws in your basic skills are amplified so much that they drag you down.<br /><br />The solution is to go back to the basics and hone the skills you thought you had down pat, then try again. It is totally amazing how easy the advanced stuff becomes after doing that.<br /><br />So for the novel I've been working on for the last 10 days, I've gone back to the basics. It has a very simple 3 part plot. The characters have very simple clear motivations. Everything moves forward naturally in a linear order. As simple a book as I can write.<br /><br />It's strangely liberating writing this way. Knowing that if a reviewer says, “The book is simple and unoriginal...” I can say, “Thank you, that was what I was going for.”<br /><br />The only thing I want this new novel to be is enjoyable and entertaining. I'll use the conversation from MIND THIEF when Howie and Vivian go on their first date to sum it up:<br /><br /><i>“Shall we.” Howie held out his arm.<br /><br />“This just might be enjoyable.”<br /><br />“Nice vote of confidence,” Howie said.<br /><br />“Would you rather I had impossible to reach expectations?”<br /><br />“No, I’ll shoot for enjoyable.” He laughed.</i>Darrell B. Nelsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02851443183217238218noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5904837152437915711.post-62896077556388223352011-10-27T14:07:00.002-04:002011-10-27T14:08:20.193-04:00Presumed Innocent<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-IRmXENU-4rg/TqmeCT_z03I/AAAAAAAABn8/r7NN21h4xj0/s1600/Presumed%2BInnocent.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 296px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-IRmXENU-4rg/TqmeCT_z03I/AAAAAAAABn8/r7NN21h4xj0/s320/Presumed%2BInnocent.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5668235368587318130" /></a><br />A great thriller/mystery is “Presumed Innocent”.<br /><br />Harrison Ford's character is set-up to take the fall for the rape and murder of his former mistress. (Minor Spoiler Alert) The real murderer is in most of the scenes. The motive, opportunity, and ability is shown, but it is a shock at the end as the murderer is “Presumed Innocent” by the cops and audience. If you watch it twice you can see how they set it up so the murderer is obvious if you don't presume they're innocent.<br /><br />With “Mind Thief” I wrote myself a bit of a problem. It is told in first person limited point of view from Howie the victim. Doing it in that point of view gave me what I feel is a great ending. However it left me in a bind as Howie can't figure out what is happening to him too soon, but the reader needs to figure it out in order to see the peril he is in.<br /><br />I had thought the title and the tagline, “Howie has a problem, someone is stealing his mind and the only one who can save him is a girl who has already lost hers”, would give the reader a clue that Howie didn't have as to who the people in the book are.<br /><br />Howie is obvious, there is only one Howie.<br /><br />The girl who already lost her mind is pretty obvious by the second time she shows up. A little obvious the first time as well.<br /><br />That means the other character that is showing up in Howie's dreams must be the title character, the “Mind Thief”.<br /><br />Sigh, None of my beta readers have caught that.<br /><br />On the one hand it shows that having beta readers is a good thing. Going 20,000 words without catching the main theme of the book would turn most readers off.<br /><br />On the other hand I have to go back through and point out everything the bad guy is doing to steal Howie's mind and have Howie rationalize a reason not to be concerned. It's not like when something strange happens your first thought is “Gee, someone must be stealing my mind.”<br /><br />While I'm plugging away at that I've got a new challenge for myself.<br /><br />So far all my novels had tightly woven, interlinked plots. A small thing in Chapter 3 might effect Chapters 7, 10, 15 … I've decided I've been relying to heavily on that and I'll try writing a very straight forward novel. A leads to B leads to C.<br /><br />I've banged out a chapter each morning, for the last 5 days, of between 800 to 1,500 words. Each one with a slight puzzle to solve in the next chapter. So the chapters build on each other but not necessarily the chapter after that one. It is more like the old serials in the pulp magazines that were turned into novels.<br /><br />It is actually a pretty fun way to write.<br /><br />Back to the novel I'm editing. I was wondering, when you read a novel how much attention do you pay to the title and the tagline?<br /><br />Do you figure it is just there to make you pick up, or click on the purchase button, or do you treat it as part of the novel?Darrell B. Nelsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02851443183217238218noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5904837152437915711.post-59563768565277908442011-10-20T10:34:00.002-04:002011-10-20T10:37:14.442-04:00Corvette Scene Part IILast year I talked about a problem that I have. It's a problem I've noticed in novels. I named that problem the Corvette Scene, after the scene in the Star Trek 2009 where young Kirk steals a Corvette and runs it off the famous canyons of Iowa. <a href="http://projectsaviorreborn.blogspot.com/2010/09/writing-wednesday-corvette-scene.html">Corvette Scene I </a><br /><br />The problem with that scene, and a lot of scenes in my writing and other novels, isn't that taken alone they are bad. The Corvette Scenes tend to be really fun, well done, and if taken out of the novel (or movie) they stand up nicely on their own. The problem is they take the reader out of the novel and only the author can see how it is related to the rest of the story.<br /><br />In Mind Thief I found my Corvette Scene, and I had to cut it out completely. (<i>Sniff</i>) Through flashbacks I was showing the life of my bad guy. As I did the body count in each flashback grew higher. I didn't want my bad guy to be just a mustache twirling stereotype, so I threw in a scene where he accomplished something on his own. The idea was to show that he was a competent professional as well as an evil bastard. The problem was even though I felt the individual scene was good, it came at a time of rising tension and took the reader out of that.<br /><br />Maybe I'll find a way to recycle it in to some other book.<br /><br />The set-up is when Howie falls asleep he dreams of being the bad guy Harriman:<br /><br />Harriman checked his compass readings of his Aeromarine 39B biplane to see he was on course, beneath him was just open ocean. He knew he was coming up on his target soon and scanned the horizon for the dot he was looking for.<br /><br />He glanced down at his fuel gauge and realized he had better have been right about his bearings or he was going to be awfully wet for quite a while. He said out loud, “Your bearings are correct, the target must be just over the horizon.” Before any more doubts could creep into his mind he saw a small dot appear in the distance.<br /><br />He eased back on the throttle as the dot grew bigger and he confidently approached his target. He could see it grow bigger and bigger, first a dot then a small box and finally into a ship.<br /><br />He turned on his radio and announced, “USS Langley, this is Bravo One, I have you in visual. Over.”<br /><br />“Bravo One.” The tinny speaker crackled, “You are cleared for landing. Paddle on deck ready to bring you in. Over.”<br /><br />Harriman flew his plane closer, easing back on the throttle the whole time. Finally he saw the bright orange spot on the deck of the USS Langley, “Paddle spotted, tell them I’m coming in. Over.”<br /><br /><i>Trust Murphy, he won’t let you down.</i> Harriman thought as he concentrated on the orange dot on the deck of the carrier. The orange dot grew and soon he could see it split into the two large orange flags that Landing Signal Officer Murphy was waving.<br /><br />Murphy waved to the right of the carrier.<div><br /></div><div><i>Block everything out but Murphy.</i> Harriman thought. He relaxed and let Murphy guide him away from the ship.<br /><br />When he was far enough to the right of the ship and much lower Murphy started waving him back left and Harriman could see what he was doing. His original approach was slightly off the small target at the back of the carrier, on land he could compensate for it in the last few feet of the landing. On the carrier that little mistake would send him into the drink.<br /><br />At first the approach Murphy had him on looked good and he followed it as the edge of the carrier grew. Then he could see the carrier bobbing up and down on the waves and nagging doubts started to come back.<br /><br />The Curtis OXX engine that powered the plane began to sputter, if he slowed down any more it would stall. Murphy signaled him to slow down more as the rear of the carrier lifted up and Harriman could only see the gray rear hull of the ship.<br /><br />Harriman panicked, hit the throttle and pulled up on the stick. He shot up in the air as the rear of the carrier dropped down. He flew over the heads of the flight deck crew.<br /><br />“Bravo One, that’s not in your flight plan. Over.” His radio squawked.<br /><br />“Just doing a dry run,” Harriman radioed back. “Coming around for a second attempt. Over.”<br /><br />“Roger, Paddle is waiting on deck. Over.”<br /><br />Harriman maneuvered around and tried his landing again, but had the same result. He trusted Murphy right up to the last second then panicked.<br /><br />“Harriman, you’re pissing me off down here.” Commander Benson growled. Harriman could practically see the cigar bitten in half. “You do what Murphy tells you damn it. I don’t care if you run out of fuel and drown in the crash, but replacing that bird will be damn near impossible. So get on deck now.”<br /><br />“Roger,” Harriman told him. “Coming around for a third and final attempt. Over.”<br /><br />This time when Harriman faced the rear hull of the ship he cut his engine completely composing Benson's letter to Daphene in his head: “Dear Mrs. Harriman, We regret to inform you that your complete idiot of a husband, being the most incompetent pilot I've ever had the opportunity to command, pranged his kite into the America's only Aircraft Carrier causing more damage to our Navy than the Kaiser could ever dream of.”<br /><br />As Harriman glided towards the big gray wall of steel, it dropped as the carrier hit another wave in front and the deck came down. The wheels of Harriman's plane kissed the flight deck in a perfect landing. The plane traveled several feet before the tailhook grabbed the arrestor wire on the deck and forced Harriman forward into his safety harness.<br /><br />The force threw Howie forward in his bed and he woke up in a sitting position. Totally disorientated, he knew he was Howie, a freshman Astrophysics major, but for a minute after waking up he knew he was also Lt. Harriman one of the Navy’s first pilots.</div>Darrell B. Nelsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02851443183217238218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5904837152437915711.post-77427626106144821022011-10-13T14:40:00.000-04:002011-10-13T14:42:22.782-04:00Writing SmutA friend of mine, Stephanie Barr, mentioned me in a recent blog post, <a href="http://stephanie-barr.blogspot.com/2011/10/diving-into-uncomfortable.html">Diving into the uncomfortable</a>. In that post she talked about learning about characters in “Smut”. More specifically, homosexual romance stories.<br /><br />It turns out this is a great time for me to write about that as well. I'm struggling in a novel that revolves around the chemical changes in the brain that are released during sex.<br /><br />I've read a few homosexual romances and what I really like about them is the characters stay the same in bedroom as well as outside the bedroom. In a lot of hetro sex scenes when the characters enter the bedroom you wouldn't know they are the same people you've been reading about for the rest of the book.<br /><br />No one does a worse job at this than Ewe Boll. If you want to see how not to insert a sex scene watch Alone in the Dark. Practically mid-sentence, with no lead up, Tara Reid and Christian Slater hop in bed and next scene its as if nothing happened.<br /><br />While every writer I've read handles a sex scene better than that, very few use the opportunity for the reader to learn more about the characters.<br /><br />When I wrote “Mind Thief” I purposely made the two main characters very sexual. Being a main part of their characters their reactions to each other in the bedroom showed a lot about their characters.<br /><br />The interesting part, for me anyway, was putting conflict into the sex scene without making it rape. Howie is an 18 year old male with hyper-testosterone and Vivian is a bipolar with aspergers syndrome. As a male Howie is very visually stimulated. Having aspergers Vivian never cared about other people before and to her sex isn't intimate, but kissing and getting naked are. It leads to an interesting dynamic as they both have to compromise to have sex without either one being submissive. It set the tone for the rest of their relationship as Howie has huge abandonment issues and doesn't trust anyone, and Vivian has never let anyone get close to her. Then they find they can't stand to be apart.<br /><br />Writing the sex scenes wasn't hard, the hard part of sex scenes is in the editing. It took awhile to edit the hardcore XXX scenes into a more R rated version and keep the character's motivations clear. But that is part of writing.<br /><br />The really hard part was getting feedback. Getting characters interactions and relationships outside the bedroom it's easy to find sources to draw from, watching how friends interact. Reading about others and so on. For sex (outside the actual act) it's not so easy.<br /><br />People in real life know I'm a writer and are cool with the fact that something they say or do might make it into one of my books. But sneaking into their bedrooms and observing them during sex leads to them screaming things like, “Cops” and “Restraining Orders”. Pornos don't really capture the real people as it's more about the posing than the feeling.<br /><br />So I drew from my own experiences. It's strange having people give you feedback on your sex performance.<br /><br />The biggest negative I got was the set-ups and dialog weren't realistic. Really strange since I know if the girls the scenes are based on read them they'll be a little embarrassed. The scenes are close enough to real life that they'll recognize themselves. (I tried to make sure no one else will.)<br /><br />The other odd comments were about the after effects of sex.<br /><br />In my experience, before and a few years into marriage, the morning after good sex is like the morning after running a marathon and having a hangover at the same time. It's tough to stand, muscles you've forgotten about are complaining, and it's hard to concentrate. The girls I've been with complained/complimented that they couldn't sit down.<br /><br />I had people say that taking sex that far wasn't realistic and unless there is an “oops” girls don't have a problem with sitting the next day. (No “oops” was intended in the scene.)<br /><br />It's also strange being called sadistic for me, I mean my character, to be proud of putting a girl in that condition. I always thought of it more like a sport where the aching muscles and friction burns you feel the next morning are trophies that remind you of the fun you had. And talking about them with your partner was a way of complimenting them.<br /><br />Besides finding out a little more about myself than I wanted to know, I've also found out why sex scenes that give insight into the characters are hard. In erotica you expect the sex scenes to be unrealistic. When you start putting in realism and exposing your characters as real people during sex you are showing an aspect of being human that isn't seen in everyday life.<br /><br />In all other aspects of life we can enjoy exploring the thoughts of people who think differently than ourselves. But during sex we look at it through our own experiences and if the character has a different view of sex than ourselves we tend to think the worst of that character.<br /><br />That could be why homosexual romance writers can keep their characters being the same characters that entered the bedroom, while hetro writers have trouble. When it comes to sex, homosexuals are used to some people thinking their normal activities are “Perverted”. With hetro writers it is strange that even if the characters do nothing the reader hasn't done, how they look at sex can be considered “Perverted”.Darrell B. Nelsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02851443183217238218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5904837152437915711.post-23550113316520468392011-09-29T12:53:00.001-04:002011-09-29T12:55:33.887-04:00PacingPacing is one thing I have trouble with in writing, one solution would be to get a bigger office so I could take more than two steps when I pace. The other would be to look at it in my writing, and other peoples fiction.<br /><br />Like always I like to look at the very worst (but successful) examples first. The absolute worst examples of pacing are the Matrix movies.<br /><br />The Matrix:<br /><br />10 minute Action scene, 40 minutes of dialog, 30 minute Action scene.<br /><br />The Matrix Reloaded:<br /><br />5 minute Action scene, One hour of dialog/really, really bad sex scene, 40 minute Action scene.<br /><br />The Matrix Revolution,<br /><br />I think there was some dialog in there somewhere. But oddly not a single, “Whoa.”<br /><br />Pacing should be easy, whenever you start to drift out, throw in a moment that puts the characters life in danger, then get back to the story. However it is easy to make that transparently forced. Next somewhat successful bad example:<br /><br />Lost: You could tell by the commercials for Lost how good or bad their ratings were. Good ratings, mysterious commercials that were intentional vague. Bad Rating, “We're all gonna die,” and “This Rock changes everything.”<br /><br />By third season it was painful to watch as they were forcing so many gimmicks to hold on to their ratings that the plotline was gone.<br /><br />I'm going through the editing process right now on “Mind Thief” and 20,000 words in, I'm at the Matrix stage. I've carefully built the foundation for the big 30,000 word action finale, but I have a lot of ground that has the tension building, but there is no immediate threat to Howie's life.<br /><br />Some of this would be easier if I could do “<a href="http://projectsaviorreborn.blogspot.com/2010/02/temper-tantrum-tuesday-i-dont-do-normal.html">normal</a>”, But I can't. I had to give my heroine Asperger's, a disorder that is characterized by difficultly in social interaction. So she reacts and behaves much differently than most, but she is sweet in her own way. That means extra work making the reader like my character who has no social skills.<br /><br />My villain could easily be a twirling mustache stereotype, but I want the reader to understand why he thought killing millions of people was a good thing.<br /><br />All these things add to the word count and give the reader extra work to get to the plot points. So I have to do the thing that is the very worst part about writing. I've got to go through and cut a hell of a lot of it and kill my <a href="http://projectsaviorreborn.blogspot.com/2010/09/writing-wednesday-corvette-scene.html">Corvette scene</a>. Making it worse, this time my beta readers liked my Corvette scene but it takes up valuable reading time. What a pity.<br /><br />On a happier note, according to a completely arbitrary benchmark I saw on an agent's blog, I am now a real author. <a href="http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/46093">I KILLED THE MAN THAT WASN'T THERE</a> broke the 500 downloads mark.Darrell B. Nelsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02851443183217238218noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5904837152437915711.post-65509912939212841782011-09-21T12:53:00.000-04:002011-09-21T12:54:15.480-04:00Gay CharactersYesterday, Don't ask, Don't tell was finally repealed. So I thought today would be a good time to write about how to write gay characters. It is really simple, don't.<br /><br />I don't mean don't have characters that are gay, just don't introduce them as a gay character.<br /><br />Chances are you have real life friends that are either gay, straight, or bi-sexual. If not get out of the monastery more often. When you introduce them to other people that's not the first thing you say about them. If your introducing your straight friend to another friend you will be more likely to say, “This is Bob, he works as a programmer” or “he is a huge stamp collector”. You don't introduce him by saying, “This is Bob, he loves the boobies”. So why would you introduce a character that is gay that way.<br /><br />In ALIEN THOUGHTS, Yar's male boss had had an affair with the male Senator who recommended him for the position. By the time the reader found that out they already knew that he didn't swear, liked mint, ran really long meetings and thought all problems could be solved over lunch. So by the time the character was shown as being gay, he was already a full character.<br /><br />Sexual identity does play a huge part in how someone looks at the world and how they are judged, but so does height, weight and what they do for a living. Even if the plot revolves around the fact that the character is gay, there is a lot more to the character than that. If there isn't the character really needs to be fleshed out more.<br /><br />In the character bible for STAR TREK (TOS) Gene Roddenberry wrote, “The T in James T Kirk does not stand for Tom Cat.” The character of Kirk was very hetro despite what fan fiction might say, but that wasn't the main part of his character. If you are writing about a Space Adventurer that has a group of guys waiting for him at every port, that's a side part of his character. It's the Space Adventures that get the reader hooked.<br /><br />So if you are writing a character that is gay, think about if you would introduce the fact that a character is hetro the same way. The reactions from other characters can be different but the reader is going to like or dislike the character based on other parts of their character.<br /><br />Outside of porn, nobody wants to read about a gay character, but a character who is gay can be interesting. Just like nobody watched STAR TREK because Kirk was hetro, but his hitting on every green or blue chick that walked by added to his character.Darrell B. Nelsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02851443183217238218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5904837152437915711.post-45484658560471138282011-09-08T13:57:00.001-04:002011-09-08T13:57:46.477-04:00George Lucas - Finish Already.“A novel is never finished, merely abandoned.”<br /><br />George Lucas has released the Six Star Wars movies on Blue-ray. That would be great if he would stop fiddling with them.<br /><br />The films weren't perfect and the first time he went through and added things it was a mixed bag.<br /><br />I generally liked the changes to Star Wars and The Empire Strikes Back, he did for the DVD release.<br /><br />Turning Mos Eisley into a city with people instead of the budget limited three huts and a bar. You could understand why Luke was disappointed when he couldn't go buy power converters. It was a big trip to the city. Not just stopping downtown.<br /><br />It also explained why he was out of place in the bar. In the original it was the only bar for 100's of miles, farmers would be sure to stop there from time to time. In a huge city they would have their own bar.<br /><br />In Empire, removing the boxes, or matte lines, around everything in the space scenes made it look more professional.<br /><br />Then he hit Return of the Jedi.<br /><br />Jedi was slightly flawed in the original version. Jabba's crew hung around with little to do. But that made Jabba more of a gangster. He liked them going out of their way to worship him. A paid as little as possible for that worship. They were there out of fear, no money.<br /><br />Bringing the band in took away from Jabba's character, plus it kind of sucked.<br /><br />The addition of hundreds of Storm Troopers to stand at attention for Darth Vader to say he was there to improve efficiency on the construction made him less threatening and more of a bureaucrat. “You have several hundred men standing around doing nothing. I have been sent here to find ways to speed up construction. Where should I start?”<br /><br />I don't even want to get into the Falcon flying through hundreds of Tie Fighters and nothing getting hit.<br /><br />The flawed original was much better than the “Remastered” version.<br /><br />The same is true with novels. I just reread Asimov's “Foundation Trilogy” after not reading it for 20 years. His “voice” is silly. Douglas Addams ripped it off for the Hitchhikers Guide series. He bounces around from one person's head to another, the characters are one dimensional. But I loved reading it this time as much as I did in high school and college.<br /><br />It's the clarity and vision I love. In his last two of the series, written years later, he had a better technical skill and better characters making them good, if different, books. But the original ones were fun.<br /><br />They would be ruined if he went back and “fixed” them.<br /><br />So I have to learn if my books aren't technically perfect that there needs to come a time to abandon them. Sometimes “fixing” a work of art makes it worse, not better.Darrell B. Nelsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02851443183217238218noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5904837152437915711.post-38703018112943689322011-08-24T14:00:00.001-04:002011-08-24T14:02:55.872-04:00Moving right alongThe trickiest place in writing a novel is the middle of the first act. There is a lot to do. One of the hardest critiques to try and fix is a chapter in the first act where you've dropped a huge clue and the critiquer says, “Well, that was fun and showed something about the characters, but how did it move the story along?”
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<br />It makes me feel like a stripper who is preforming in a low class club. I'm trying to do flashes and teases while the audience wants immediate gratification.
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<br />There is a fine line between putting in the plot point so subtly that the reader says, “I didn't need to know that little detail so I'll skip it” and writing “PLOT POINT:” just before a paragraph.
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<br />Another problem with leaving subtle clues is trying to fool your main character without fooling the reader. In one novel I have a character who breaks character often. In the first draft I just had her do that so once the reader found out why she was doing it they would go, “So that explains that.”
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<br />In my first read through I could see that a reader would think one of two things. I was a horrible writer who couldn't keep my character in character. Or, my main character was really dumb. I wasn't going for either one of those so I had to rewrite those parts so my main character notices the changes but has a reason to ignore them.
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<br />One tool I use to help me with my plot points is a spreadsheet.
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<br />I started this just to keep track of my progress. I'd put the Chapter Number, Chapter Name and word count in a spreadsheet and have it add up my word count so I could see where I was in the book.
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<br />I changed that later to help in editing by adding a description of the chapter. This not only helped in editing as I could quickly find a chapter but I could also see how the novel progressed. So I put another column in labeled “PLOT POINT”. Every chapter in my books have at least one.
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<br />When I go back through, I see if the plot point is obvious or buried. Then I can work on it. It works pretty well for most of the plot points and points out the problems, fixing them is a little harder.
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<br />My worst one so far is it is important that for the reader to see that Howie, a college freshman, knows what a bandelore is. He has to think it is natural for him to know about bandelores, Packard twin-sixes, and other things from the turn of the century, but so far my beta readers are missing that plot point and laughing at my dialog. So even being able to pinpoint where the problem is doesn't always lead to a solution.
<br />Darrell B. Nelsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02851443183217238218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5904837152437915711.post-28676560698327432542011-08-17T12:15:00.000-04:002011-08-17T12:17:03.101-04:00Three Elements a good story needsOf all the absolute “rules” for writing, one rule is never mentioned but I have never seen a good story that violates this one. I have seen too many bad books and movies that violate this rule.
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<br />There are three things a good story needs, A beginning, a middle, and an end. Every single book or movie I have liked had these things.
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<br />What got me thinking about this was I watched Spiderman II the other day. I had seen it before but for the life of me could not remember what happened. After watching it again I still don't. But I did notice the profound lack of a beginning or an end.
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<br />I have liked books that switched things up a bit, started at the end and had the beginning in the middle and that sort of thing. But they still had a beginning and an end. When a story doesn't have all three elements it is not a story. It is just looking at a characters daily life, even the most interesting of characters can't stand up to that sort of peeping.
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<br /><div style="text-align: center;">The beginning:</div>
<br />I've talked about this before, this is the event that changes the character's life and gets the ball rolling. Fred going to work at an accounting job is not a beginning unless he finds something strange that changes his life that day.
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<br />It is the same with Superheroes or Monsters. Batman patrolling the streets of Gotham City, isn't a story it's part of the neighborhood watch. His running into a new supervillian that makes him have to change tactics is the beginning of a story.
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<br /><div style="text-align: center;">The middle:</div>
<br />Stuff happens to move the main character towards the end. Without an end there is no middle.
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<br /><div style="text-align: center;">The end:</div>
<br />Not every single plot thread needs to closed, and evil doesn't have to be punished but there needs to be an end. Even in the middle of a trilogy there is an end to the storyline started that second chapter. EMPIRE STRIKES BACK is a great example:
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<br />Beginning: Our heroes are going their separate ways.
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<br />Middle: They learn they need each other. It's a handy lesson for Luke.
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<br />End: They vow to reunite.
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<br />No matter what genre you write in, except free form poetry, make sure your writing has a beginning, a middle, and an End.Darrell B. Nelsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02851443183217238218noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5904837152437915711.post-38281338865406542372011-08-10T14:10:00.001-04:002011-08-10T14:12:58.324-04:00Writing Wednesday: Society Building<div style="text-align: center;">AN INVENTION THAT CHANGED THE WORLD</div>
<br />I live in a house that was built in 1920. One of the first things I had to do was build closets, because in 1920 they didn't have closets. Being curious I wondered why.
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<br />Before the 20th century people kept their few clothes in armoires, these had shelves and drawers to store the clothes. The clothes were laid flat, so it would be tough to organize more than a few clothes. Then in 1903 the world changed.
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<br />Albert J. Parkhouse arrived as usual at his workplace, the Timberlake Wire and Novelty Company in Jackson, Michigan, which specialized in making lampshade frames and other wire items. When he went to hang his hat and coat on the hooks provided for the workers, Parkhouse found all were in use.
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<br />Annoyed-and inspired-Parkhouse picked up a piece of wire, bent it into two large oblong hoops opposite each other, and twisted both ends at the center into a hook. Then he hung up his coat and went to work.
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<br />That simple invention increased the amount clothes that could be stored. Armoires gave way to Wardrobes that had both drawers and hooks for clothes hangers. Someone took the idea of a clothesline and put it into the wardrobe and shirts and coats could be easily sorted.
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<br />With the ability to store more than a few clothes people stopped the practice of wearing the same clothes for a month before washing them. With so much more clothes hand washing became a chore so in 1908 the washing machine was made.
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<br />Wardrobes became bigger and more elaborate after WWII architects started building them in to home plans.
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<br />This simple act of annoyance changed the world we live in forever.
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<br /><div style="text-align: center;">WHAT DOES IT MEAN</div>How does all this effect writing?
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<br />In SFF it a very important part. As you build your physical world you have to think about how it will effect the people living in that world.
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<br />One of the least thought out society reacting to technology is the STAR TREK next generation universe. Two pieces of technology would make that society unrecognizable to us. The Replicator and the Holodeck.
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<br /><div style="text-align: center;">HOW THE REPLICATOR WOULD CHANGE SOCIETY</div>The Replicator would completely transform society. If you had everything you wanted at your fingertips how would the economy work. There are only two ways it could go:
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<br />One way would be a slave economy, where all money flowed to the owners of the energy sources that powered the replicators. The masses would have to provide services to these masters of the world to get a little energy to power their replicators. A very small middle class would make some money by selling designs for products to be replicated, but piracy would create a police state where every time you designed something of your own it would have to be checked against existing designs.
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<br />Judges would spend all their time checking how close a knockoff is to the original. For instance what if you took one of Gordon Ramsey's meals and used three quarters of a tablespoon of salt instead of a full tablespoon of salt? Would that be an original creation that you could sell for a tenth of the price?
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<br />Trying to use a capitalist model on a world with replicators would be a disaster.
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<br />So Gene Roddenberry pictured a world without money. <a href="http://jeffords.blogspot.com/2010/01/star-trek-next-generation-follow-up.html">Some have called this Socialism</a>, and it is very close to Marxist Socialism taken one step farther. The consumers literally control the means of production.
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<br />With no incentive to work, many simply wouldn't. However, working is something that people do enjoy. Some of the nicest neighborhoods are the ones with a lot of retired people. You see flowerbeds that took a lot of work, carefully crafted landscaping, unique fences. These things don't give the owners much material gain, but they get the satisfaction of a job well done.
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<br />So the elite would go into Starfleet and the next tier would go into the Civil Corp of Engineers. There would be a huge art movement. But there would also be the dregs of society, a large percentage of the people would simply give up. People who want to do meaningful work but everything is provided for them and they aren't creative enough to be in the engineering sector of the art sector. Star Trek never shows this class of citizens.
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<br />Needless to say I absolutely hated the episodes that took place on Earth, as this problem was never directly addressed.
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<br />The societal problems of replicators could be addressed and you could build a nice society taking all that into consideration. The Star Trek technology that the writers thought would be a good idea but never (well, barely) addressed was the Holodeck.
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<br /><div style="text-align: center;">THE HOLODECK WOULD DESTROY SOCIETY!</div>
<br />You have the ability to create a world distinguishable from the real world. Sounds great, but what happens when the real world sucks.
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<br />You tried like crazy to get into Starfleet, and failed out. You wonder what would happen if you didn't. Jump in the Holodeck and you're no longer a failure. Time to come out and study, why you don't need the real world.
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<br />The object of your affection dumps you, hop in the Holodeck where they love you.
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<br />A family member dies, no problem they will live forever in the Holodeck.
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<br />The Holodeck does address the problem of what to do with the people who give up on wanting to do meaningful work but it would hit all parts of society.
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<br />I haven't met anyone whose life was so wonderful that there was never a time that they wanted to give up. It's the biggest part of being human that during life there will be many times that you're knocked down, it is the struggle to recover that makes you who you are. With the Holodeck it would be too easy just to stop struggling and give up. Soon all of society would retreat into Holodecks and never come out again. It would be the last invention humans ever made.
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<br /><div style="text-align: center;">WHAT TO CONSIDER WHILE BUILDING YOUR SOCIETY</div>
<br />So while you are building your world, try to imagine what anything you add to your world would do to your society. A small thing like the coat hanger can change the world profoundly. A huge fictional invention like the Holodeck might seem like a cool idea, but when you look at how it would impact society it soon becomes a disaster. Darrell B. Nelsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02851443183217238218noreply@blogger.com3